[Mathematics] My childhood curse.

This was never one of my best subjects at school, probably due to the fact in 1958 – 1963 when I left school at 15 there were only two periods on this subject per week. This might have been due to the stream and class I was in. Even in those early days of life at that time children were graded A, B, C, D. 

A= high performers and university fodder. 

B= possibly wrong in their initial judgement of the students ability, so in with a chance to achieve the same as an A grade student. 

C = non achiever, has the ability to be a good part of the UKs basic labour force. 

D = the no hopers, slow to learn and hard to teach. Not really clever enough to sweep the floor where Einstein was working out his theory of relativity. They were given to low grade teachers that were new to teaching and just out of training collage.

How did these children get graded in the first place you might be asking? Well in the early 60s there was in the primary schools of England a test that every 11 year old student sat. It was called the 11+ exam, and from these twenty questions that a student got right or wrong sealed their fate.

I was graded C. I had reasonable teachers but the main ones that gave you the nitty-gritty education, I E: - maths English. They had little or no time for the student that could not travel through the lesson at the same speed as them or the A+B students that they were used to teaching. I found maths a nightmare with long division something of a mystery that even now at 65 years old, I have not mastered. [Thank god for the calculator.]

The young Ian at 12 years old

There was a lot of time taken at subtraction, times and addition. They were useful for counting your wages I suppose, but what all that algebra was about I have no idea. I sat through a half lesson one morning of Mr. Lawson telling me that A = C minor and stuff like that. I closed my text book and sat with my mouth open mesmerised by him doing a series of mathematical equations on the black board. After an hour of learning damn all, the teacher looked straight at me and asked, “What did you understand about all I said on coming in the class room this morning, Johnstone?”

I realised straight away that this was a trick question. The whole class looked at me as if they had never seen me in the class before. I often wondered why they did that, because it always made me a little more nervous. It also made me look to my left to see if there was another student there instead of the brick wall. I think they were expecting me to say something so that he would not ask them the same question. Well on this occasion I was going to disappoint them, “The part when you said, ‘good morning class,’ before sitting in your chair, Sir.” Well he did ask a question that had only one truthful answer, and I had told him.

This three inch piece of chalk came from out of his flicking fingers to strike me in the forehead. He could do that nine out of ten times leading me to believe that he must practice at home. As I sat there stunned he shouted, “You stupid boy, I have wasted my time on you. Get out of my class and come back when you have learned something of what I have talked about.” It’s at this point a student wonders whether he should be in the D grades.

I also think that by those words he was also a little stupid, because if he could not teach me the correct way in class, he had not got a hope in hell of me learning outside in the corridor. I stood there the rest of the lesson without a reprieve, and the next time I would go to maths lessons would be three months later when he left the school. Not learning some of the maths correctly has not impaired my journey through life, because I was willing to learn even if it was at my speed and not at the speed of the teacher.

Ian 8 years later

I asked my brother and father that night to show me what it was all about. My brother was 15 months older and in the B grade, my father was an arrogant Scots Bastard that had no time for me. The way he and my father talked a person might think that my brother was going to Oxford in the spring. They both laughed as my father answered with the twisted sneer he always had when talking to me. “You should learn that at school, that’s what maths teachers are there for.”

Well that answer blew away any thoughts I had on being an chartered accountant as my chosen career. It seemed as though as I was good with a hammer and chisel and good with my hands I would have to fall back on my second career choice. Yes, I know what you’re thinking, a brain surgeon? Lmao.

Be well Ian.

Repetition

Yes here I am with another gripe about critiques. In one of my stories I have used the word, Dwelling. You might be saying, “Old fashioned word but in the right theme it will be okay.” I was actually stupid enough to think this same way, but I have been reprimanded by the Grammar freaks and Critiques.

Sometimes I really think they get really overbearing when reading a story that they have not got the ability to [In most cases] write themselves. I have just let one of these educated people read one of my unpublished, unedited manuscripts. I think it was a big mistake because they never rubbished the book or the story, but my ability to write how they think the story should be written. To be honest it was a damn insult, but I took it on the chin.

Faberge Egg Replica of Gatchina Palace

My crime is to use the word “dwelling” three times in two sentences in the same paragraph. Then this person went on to tell me that I used the word far too many times throughout the story. This person even supplied me with alternative words, “Hut, house, hovel.” The story is based in the year 445 a.d.

Gatchina Palace Russia

The word is not important in their critique, but the way it is used is. I should have used alternative words and not use the same word three times. “WHY?” I was under the impression I was telling the story and not the person doing the critique. If I wanted to use the word house I would most probably used that three times. I believe that people that give this kind of critique should get in the real world with the rest of us. Surely it is unimportant how many times I use the word as long as the story flows.

Dressing Room for Count Orlov- Gatchina Palace Russia

Water colour by Eduard Hau 1807-1888

HUT... a small single-storey building, often made of wood that is used as a simple house or shelter, or for storage, temporary accommodation, or leisure or community activities

DWELLING... a house or other building or place in which somebody lives

HOUSE... a building made for people to live in, especially one built for a single group of occupants.

Chesma Gallery- Gatchina Palace russia

Water Colour by Eduard Hau 1807-1888 

If anyone wants to know what the difference between a hut, dwelling, house, or cottage are? Then might I suggest that the next time you are invited to dinner at the new cottage of your best friend. Do make sure and tell her that she lives in a lovely hut.

Be well Ian.

Individuality and Critique

Back to one of my favourite subjects critiques, and are they at any point in the life of a writer any good. They are I admit a necessary commodity, but when is the best time to listen to them?

 I have had a couple of people reading one of my stories from beginning to end, and I ask myself was it worth the time and energy? Does anyone really know how to push their personal interests aside and give a true account of what they have read? At the end of the day after these people have read the manuscript they can only give their own opinion. It is this point of individuality that I am referring to

SEVEN SISTERS-Nr Seaford-East-Sussex

Stephen Dawson

I have let two people read my story and both have come back with different points of view. Neither knew that it was me that had written the story so there was no bias critique. It is this point where I have to ask, was the exercise a pointless waste of time? They both liked the story they had read, and never once complained about my greatest problem with publishers, the lack of English Grammar. They are just two people out of the millions of readers we have in the UK. So was it fair to ask them to speak for the multitude, and the answer has to be no.

DEVILS DYKE North of BRIGHTON

Everyone reads a story or book in their own way, and they all know what they are looking for in a book. Not everyone thinks the same way or likes a style of writing that they are not used to. So by letting a person critique his/her story a writer might get a negative answer that has nothing to do with the story, but has everything to do with the person that read it.

The two readers also told me what they never liked about the story which had nothing to do with the content or the story itself. They were telling me how I should write a story that was in their format, which I would like to point out to all reading this post was as different as chalk and cheese. Now put these two critiques in the mix with the one that I already have from an editor and I ask myself what should I do?

 The editor only told me to put feeling into the characters so that it never read like a history lesson. Give the Hun an aggressive attitude which they had in real life. I have done what the editor told me to do, because he probably has the professional ability to know what the majority like. He never told me how he wanted the story written because he cannot write for me, however he did tell me what was wrong with the story.

PEVENSEY CASTLE

The story was a dated story about the time 480 a.d. and I have to ask the question—as long as the story runs smooth with 87% readability by my word processor, is perfect grammar necessary? Neither the Hun nor anyone in that century would speak perfect whether English or foreign.

I have decided that I will give it one more shot with five readers this time and see what falls out of the mix. I am not naive as to think one person is going to thoroughly like the story from beginning to end. Neither am I looking for all good critiques before going further with the book, but it might just give me an inkling of what is in the normal reader’s minds.

It is the last sentence in the above paragraph that I associate myself with, because I write stories in the way I like to read them. Yes I have returned once more to the word, individuality.

Be well Ian

The daily toil of a writer, and the pitfalls of doing it on a shoe string

The daily toil of a writer, and the pitfalls of doing it on a shoe string

The headlines above have been on my mind a lot recently because since about December I have been placing a free story on my blog spot. There are the few that are regulars that read it but I think most went there to look at the pictures and leave. I think a few genuinely read my smaller gripes on life and I hope I give them food for thought.

I am a writer but as I told you in an earlier post, none of the stories have been big enough to pack up my day job and go on a world cruise, but I keep trying.

To be honest I don’t think my blog spot is doing me or my stories any justice. I am very laid back about life but not to the point where laid back turns into lazy. Since I retired when my wife died five years ago, I think that I now work harder than I did when she was alive pushing me. I am 65 with a lot of free time on my hands but I am not about to sit down watching the cricket match on TV and drop dead from boredom.

I write every day, and on the bad days I put in about eight hours of writing. I think that writing stories was my only gift the teachers really appreciated when I was at school. One teacher in particular saw the potential and ability I had, but sadly she was the only one out of many. The big trouble with most secondary schools in the early sixties was the fact that the teachers had no time for the individuals. There were also far too many subjects that were of no good to the average fifteen year old boy leaving school.

I have written many books for the general public but it is money that lets me down. I have an inability to write in English grammar, and the agents do not like it. I thought I would get around this little problem by getting my stories edited, but I found to my dismay that they are a very expensive commodity. It seems that the world of writing revolves around money, and every one and anyone wishes to grab some of the potential cash the writer might earn.

I now have an editor that will take time to read my stories when I send them to him. I value his criticism as it is always fair, and he points out the things in the story that are missing. He is also hard in his criticism with professional knowledge to back it up. I always put feeling into my stories because I think it is hard to write unless there is a part of me in the writing. The characters are thinking my thoughts and talking my talk, they love as I would love or not love in some cases.

During my time on blog-spot I am going to talk about some of the things and people that have firmly placed their expertise in front of me to stop me getting my books/stories published. I am going to talk about people that over the years have feasted on the select few. They feast on those who write a book with perfect English grammar. People that can tell you the way they would write a story, but have never sat back to put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboards and write one.

I have a lot of complaints and a lot of people in professional jobs in the publishing world that have let me down. Thankfully their day of reckoning is close because the E Book is here and self publishing is putting the money sucking leaches in their place. I have been writing short stories for E Books for over four years and I am happy. I write stories for people to read, not for editors to destroy by taking the spoken word out of writing to replace it with English grammar that only one in twenty speak. There is more to come on this subject over the next part of my life in the writing world. I have about ten full story/books written, so giving one free for the public that might buy my others is not unreasonable.

Be well Ian

The Importance of an Honest CRITIQUE

The Importance of an honest Critique

I have found over the last few years that it is almost impossible to get a really honest critique. I think it is because people are too afraid to tell the truth in fear they might upset you, or the person that gave them the story to read. Then there are those that give a critique that I as the writer thinks, this is too good to be true.

What follows is a critique of the book I sent my editor to read to get the hard word. It is the exact transcript with only the more personal and private words deleted.

ROYAL COURTS OF JUSTICE

ANTHONY M [Italy]

 

Sunday, 3 February 2013, 10:06

Hi Ian,

I’ve just finished reading XXXXXXX

It’s a very good story, and ought to be worth publishing. But (and you did ask for realistic criticism!) I don’t think, as it stands, it’s worth you spending a lot of money to get it edited and published.

The way the story is told is good and quite well structured for a novel of this length. What it lacks, I think, is much depth to the characters, even the main ones. Whilst detailed descriptions of the characters aren’t needed (and, in fact, I think you often try to give too much descriptive detail about the characters in your writing), what I feel they are missing is much of how they feel and think, and anything that makes the reader able to “identify” with one or more of them and really feel part of the story when reading it. Simply, there’s very little that makes the reader either love or hate any of them to any great extent, or even to care about what happens to them. It lacks emotion. Perhaps it would be a little harsh to say so, but it almost could be a history book just telling what happened, rather than a novel.

As with much of your writing, I feel it doesn’t quite have the “flow” that makes a novel really “readable”. It’s not just a matter of grammar or punctuation, although there is a lot that needs correcting, but rather the way that much of it is phrased. It feels clumsy and it’s also “flat”, by which I mean that you don’t use language to create high and low points in the story – such as using shorter, sharper sentences for action scenes; soft, flowing words for friendship and love; words with hard, violent consonants when there is anger; and so on.

A good editor will correct any grammatical and punctuation errors. A really good editor will attend to the phrasing, although that’s beyond most of them. What an editor can’t do, is put feeling into the story that comes across to the reader and draws the reader right into the book. That needs to come from you, and at the moment I don’t think you’ve quite got it. Unlike XXXXXXXXXXXX this sort of book won’t sell simply because it’s a good story. It needs very much more than that.

Regards,

XXXXX

CITY OF LONDON SKYLINE

The critique above is the reason that I am now taking another look at my manuscript. I have read through it and I’m in agreement to all that has been said. There is a lot to do but I am up for the challenge. I knew there was a lot wrong with the story, but because the story was born from my imagination I could not see the problem. This kind of criticism is precise and to the point. I just ask myself why others can’t be as honest is a mystery. I take all criticism seriously but not the ones that say the right things but for the wrong reasons.

If a writer allows a friend or relation to read the book they inevitably arrive back at your doorstep with the words you want to hear. I doubt very much though that they will be the words of the whole truth, as no one wishes to upset a friend or relation. So the writer is left with the only option once more and return to the editor that is set in his ways.

The problem here though, is the fact that an editor has not always got the time to read your story. This leaves a break in the chain of writing the story and getting it published, either by publisher or self publish. I have been pondering this problem for over a year now and I have finally come up with a solution. I have a plan that will give me the critique I need from the people I am writing for. What is the plan? Well until I know whether it is working I will keep that to myself.

Be well Ian.

EDITORS and English grammar

EDITORS and English grammar

I have written a few short stories that have been published under another name, and I enjoy the royalties. They are not enough to make me throw everything down and take a world cruise, but they do help make life a little more comfortable. I have a very good editor that I get along with and trust to get things done. Due to his other commitments I send the longer stories away to be edited by another. It is here that the problem arises, [conflict if ideas].

As I told you in my earlier post, I have limited English grammar skills. This problem to any editor worth the money should not be a problem. I had a story edited which I paid good money to have done. On receiving the manuscript back there were one hell of a lot of changes. I expected a certain amount of changes because that is what editors do. The manuscript also returned with the loss of fifteen-hundred words.

What I never expected was the amount of red line through certain paragraphs and sentences. In place of all my writing was left just a few words that caused me a little anxiety at the time. I didn’t have to use what was in red as it was suggested words and sentences. This is where I had major problems in trying to work out which way to go. I could either go with the words in red belonging to the editor, or I could use my own words that sounded better but grammatically could be wrong.

TOWER BRIDGE

David illif

I chose right or wrong to go with the editor and yes it all fitted neatly together. It was not until I had read the whole story from beginning to end that I found out little segments that held the story together were missing. The editor had edited the book without reading the story first. This meant that where parts had been edited out, I now had to go back and replace with what I thought was grammatically okay.

During the time before I changed a lot of my work, I was not very happy with the editor. After I had read the story through once more I had even more reservations about the work. He/she had used a lot of words that a person using forethought would use, and not a person that was living on the edge of death and danger. It annoyed me that this person was getting paid money that I could not really afford, and he/she had let me down so bad. Yes the story was now grammatically correct even if the story was now 25% written by the editor. I was feeling let down and started to question my own ability.

Over the next few months I read the edited story many times and always felt uncomfortable with the finished product. In the end I had to put it to the test with someone that would give me a real insight to what I already knew. I sent it to my own editor not for publication, but for him to read and give an appraisal and me a first class critique.

BUCKINGHAM PALACE

I was not disappointed because after a few weeks he had found time to read it. Yes there was a lot wrong with the story, but not grammatically. He picked out sentences and replaced words that while in the Special Forces I never used. They were never used by the officers. He pulled paragraphs apart, and with the same words almost he had written another paragraph supplementing some of my short words for ones I would never use. The story would have been then 25% his.

Yes, I was losing my story, in fact 50% to two editors. It was at this point I e mailed him back saying, “You used a lot of words that I would never use. You have changed the paragraph but not the content by using your words. The story is no longer my story but yours because it would now be written the way you read.”

His reply was fast, and he agreed that there was a fine edge between what the editor changes and what belongs to the writer. I was told by another editor that stories are edited to a format that good old Joe/Jane public is used to reading. I think that is a lot of bull giving the editor the legal right to put his mark into a story.

St PAULS

I cannot believe that Joe/Jane public would like everyone to write their stories with the same format. [We are not living in the matrix.] What right has an editor got that gives him the impression that he knows what I am thinking? What right has any editor got to choose the words that he thinks are softer to the eye, when/if Joe/Jane public reads a story? What is the point of writing a story that to you is a manuscript of great beauty in your own words and style. Then after it is finished the editor carves it up to place long words that only the grammatically correct minority use?

On my short stories I trust my editor to do the correct thing, and he has never let me down. By my being unable to write in the grammatically correct way is ending up being a disability. I am giving away a free story on this blog with people reading it every day which makes me ask the question. “If no one has complained after reading my unedited manuscript, does this mean they are enjoying the story? The bigger question is, if these people are enjoying the story, does this mean that my English grammar is not as bad as the editors make out?” It’s more food for thought.

Be well Ian.

ENGLISH GRAMMAR

Now this really is a subject that really that gets right up my back. Why is it necessary to write a story in perfect English grammar, when most of the population in the UK would never know English grammar if it hit them in the face? Those that do talk it are looked upon as trying to be something they are not. With comments from the majority like, “Listen to him/her with their airs and graces.”

Walk along an English street in any big town and ask a direction or a question of a passer-by. Most will give you sentences with mms and errs, mixed with the local dialect that leave you wishing you had not bothered asking in the first place. In some cases after hearing the answer you can only scratch your head in a state of confusion. It’s at that point you wonder if when you walked out of the last shop you stepped through a time warp, and are now on doppelganger planet. However, very few people of any age will answer you in plain English, and even less of them will answer using English grammar.

STONEHENGE

Take the music industry and ask yourself, when was the last time you heard a song that was being sung with English Grammar in mind? Yea right, let’s move on. Take Rap for instance, a series of words spoken at speed with music thrown in to make it sell. As yet I have not heard a Rapping song/whatever that sounds remotely like the way we talk or the way we read. Then how do we expect our children that have been at school for the best part of eleven to fourteen years to speak or write properly?

My first school was in 1952 and a junior school, and from that day forward my education was abysmal. It started in a dip where I lay for ten years while the basics in education bounced off of my imagination. I was twelve years old and there were far too many things to learn. Did I really want to know how to make a fire extinguisher in science? Could I make one in time to put out a raging fire in an emergency, and where would I find all of these tubes and glasses?

WIDECOMBE IN THE MOOR

Dennis redfield

I was pulled out of a dream one morning in the middle of a lesson by the history teacher, “Johnstone, when did the Normans arrive in England?”

I focused my eyes once more as I scratched my head before I looked around the room. The entire class was looking back at me waiting for an answer. I replied with conviction, “It must have been last week, Sir, when I was not at school.”

The class burst out laughing while the teacher banged his forehead on the desk. While he was going through this self inflicted pain his hand was pointing to the door. I stood up behind my desk to follow the pointing finger. I then walked to the classroom door before stepping through it into the corridor. The sun was shining so I went home and went fishing on the lake all day. It was not until the next day that the same teacher told me, “I only wanted you to stand outside the door until the end of the lesson. You never learned a thing yesterday.”

I was going to tell him that I never caught any fish either, but decided it might be to much information.

There were so many useless subjects being pushed inside my head that there was no room for the ones that mattered, English literature, English grammar, mathematics. There was never a correction for a wrong spelling, just the red line denoting it was wrong. It was marked that way I suppose, so that the twelve year old student would go and find out the correct way to spell it. Let’s see now, where was the only dictionary in the school? Yes in the school library with one major problem. The school library is out of bounds to all except during reading lessons.

WASTWATER LAKE DISTRICT

Alan Cleaver

Now here I am on a Monday eager to find out why my essay has had the word “FORREST” marked wrong. I was still wondering [or maybe not] when the bell rang at four in the afternoon. Telling me that I can give my tired little brain a rest and go home, and forget school. I had no homework, because in those years some of the teachers were as lazy as the students they were teaching. When I get home that night, school was just a memory. The sun is out and it’s free time. If the teachers could not be bothered to teach me the correct way to spell the word “FOREST” while in the classroom, then I can assure you all that there was not a chance in hell I would learn it at home sitting on the river bank fishing.

Over the past fifty years I have taught myself to write stories of my fantasies and imagination. I have learned to spell words correctly while teaching myself history and mythology. The computer and the www taught me geography which helps me in most of my stories. To be honest I have taught myself to write by reading other authors stories.

Now I have another person telling me that my grasp of English grammar is not to his way of thinking. You don’t say. Yes I am once again talking about editors. I am not going to disagree with him because he is correct. I write as I think and talk and I don't talk like the book of grammar. No one has yet  told me that I don’t talk correct. No one has ever told me that they could not understand what I am talking about. I have held my own in conversations with teachers, lawyers, priests, and business men that were talking no different than me. 

Watch a film on television. Apart from the dated films, how many people speak grammatically correct as they do in the written story? I will leave you with these my thoughts for the moment, but I am not finished on this subject, not by a long way.

Be well Ian