[Mathematics] My childhood curse.

This was never one of my best subjects at school, probably due to the fact in 1958 – 1963 when I left school at 15 there were only two periods on this subject per week. This might have been due to the stream and class I was in. Even in those early days of life at that time children were graded A, B, C, D. 

A= high performers and university fodder. 

B= possibly wrong in their initial judgement of the students ability, so in with a chance to achieve the same as an A grade student. 

C = non achiever, has the ability to be a good part of the UKs basic labour force. 

D = the no hopers, slow to learn and hard to teach. Not really clever enough to sweep the floor where Einstein was working out his theory of relativity. They were given to low grade teachers that were new to teaching and just out of training collage.

How did these children get graded in the first place you might be asking? Well in the early 60s there was in the primary schools of England a test that every 11 year old student sat. It was called the 11+ exam, and from these twenty questions that a student got right or wrong sealed their fate.

I was graded C. I had reasonable teachers but the main ones that gave you the nitty-gritty education, I E: - maths English. They had little or no time for the student that could not travel through the lesson at the same speed as them or the A+B students that they were used to teaching. I found maths a nightmare with long division something of a mystery that even now at 65 years old, I have not mastered. [Thank god for the calculator.]

The young Ian at 12 years old

There was a lot of time taken at subtraction, times and addition. They were useful for counting your wages I suppose, but what all that algebra was about I have no idea. I sat through a half lesson one morning of Mr. Lawson telling me that A = C minor and stuff like that. I closed my text book and sat with my mouth open mesmerised by him doing a series of mathematical equations on the black board. After an hour of learning damn all, the teacher looked straight at me and asked, “What did you understand about all I said on coming in the class room this morning, Johnstone?”

I realised straight away that this was a trick question. The whole class looked at me as if they had never seen me in the class before. I often wondered why they did that, because it always made me a little more nervous. It also made me look to my left to see if there was another student there instead of the brick wall. I think they were expecting me to say something so that he would not ask them the same question. Well on this occasion I was going to disappoint them, “The part when you said, ‘good morning class,’ before sitting in your chair, Sir.” Well he did ask a question that had only one truthful answer, and I had told him.

This three inch piece of chalk came from out of his flicking fingers to strike me in the forehead. He could do that nine out of ten times leading me to believe that he must practice at home. As I sat there stunned he shouted, “You stupid boy, I have wasted my time on you. Get out of my class and come back when you have learned something of what I have talked about.” It’s at this point a student wonders whether he should be in the D grades.

I also think that by those words he was also a little stupid, because if he could not teach me the correct way in class, he had not got a hope in hell of me learning outside in the corridor. I stood there the rest of the lesson without a reprieve, and the next time I would go to maths lessons would be three months later when he left the school. Not learning some of the maths correctly has not impaired my journey through life, because I was willing to learn even if it was at my speed and not at the speed of the teacher.

Ian 8 years later

I asked my brother and father that night to show me what it was all about. My brother was 15 months older and in the B grade, my father was an arrogant Scots Bastard that had no time for me. The way he and my father talked a person might think that my brother was going to Oxford in the spring. They both laughed as my father answered with the twisted sneer he always had when talking to me. “You should learn that at school, that’s what maths teachers are there for.”

Well that answer blew away any thoughts I had on being an chartered accountant as my chosen career. It seemed as though as I was good with a hammer and chisel and good with my hands I would have to fall back on my second career choice. Yes, I know what you’re thinking, a brain surgeon? Lmao.

Be well Ian.